"New year, new me." If that phrase elicits an eye roll, you're not alone. According to the Pew Research Center, seven out of 10 Americans elected not to make resolutions last year. Of the 30% who were still faithful, health, wealth, and relationships topped lists. But too often these idealistic bullet points scribbled out on the first of January turn into unused gym passes and dusty self-help books by Valentine's Day.

"The flaw in the concept of the New Year's resolution is the idea that just committing to doing something is going to be the thing that makes the change," says Art Markman, a cognitive scientist and co-host of KUT program Two Guys on Your Head.

Real change takes planning, and planning takes time. Markman says if goal setters want to make resolutions on December 31, they should wait until March to actually start - March 4, to be exact, which has a marketing angle handily built into the date.

"That's the day that we should say, 'Okay, now my plan is in place, and from here on, I'm going to 'March fourth' into my future.'" Apparently, he pitches this idea around every year. "It hasn't worked yet, but, you know, I'll try it again."

New holiday or not, Markman says this time block helps people identify their desired behavior changes and anything getting in the way. He suggests jotting down quick observations in a habit diary.

"You're going to check your cellphone less often," Markman says. "Every time you pick up that cellphone, make a little note. Where was I? What was I doing? How was I feeling?"

After playing Nancy Drew for two weeks, it's time to get specific with the resolutions. This means blocking off exact days and times of gym visits. For some goals, Markman recommends changing the environment. "There's the magical discovery, you can't eat an ice cream that's not in your freezer."

Markman also emphasizes reframing goals in terms of actions rather than inactions.

"I can't build a habit to not do something. I can only build a habit to do something."

The last tip about resolutions? Know when not to set them.

"Not every change is possible," Markman says. "Not every change that's possible is something I should be doing right now."

Especially in today's realm of toxic comparison supercharged by social media influencers, accepting can feel harder than changing. That's why grace plays a key role in making (or not making) resolutions.

"I think people are meaner to themselves than they are to anyone else in their lives," Markman says.

"We have to act with a certain amount of self-compassion, too."